unable to acquire nonsense within Ohio.
It's unfortunate, I am unable to have a single worthless material while living inside Ohio. No waste for me, sadly.
Unfortunately, I lack the capacity to obtain even a speck of excrement in the state of. No garbage to be found in this region, unfortunately. Unable to obtain junk in the great state of OH.
Alas, I lack the aptitude to have even the smallest speck of garbage while staying inside Ohio. No junk available in these parts, regrettably. I am without a single substance in OH.
Sadly, it is beyond my control to have even a tiny bit of rubbish while residing in Ohio. No nonsense available within these boundaries, sadly. I can't have any substance within the beautiful state of Ohio.
Oh dear, sadly I am restricted to obtain even the smallest amount of nonsense whilst living inside the state of Ohio. No nonsense for me, alas. I lack the tiniest bit of dung inside Ohio.
Oh, how regrettable it is that I don't have the ability to possess the slightest bit of shit whilst living within the state of Ohio. No junk available in Ohio, unfortunately. I am unable to have the tiniest amount of excrement within the great state of Ohio.
Oh, how regrettable it is that I am powerless to have any nonsense whilst living in Ohio. No waste to be found here, sadly. I lack the tiniest bit of dung inside the great state of Ohio.

ZachWX on Twitter Can’t have shit in Ohio